I was woken up his morning around 7.30 by a wasp trying to escape my room via the closed window, i have always thought it odd how they never work out where the exit is by the breeze and continue to bag there head against something which is obviously there.. strange things.

I'm feeling much better about things today as i had a very productive day at work yesterday and my boss seems happy with the way i am now handling things, i feared that i had so much to catch up with that i wasn't going to be able to do my job anymore but this now seems like a slight over reaction and I'm looking forward to work this morning so i get certain projects, volunteers and the studio sorted out.

Myself and my Ex seem to be getting on well now, i think we now have a better understanding of each other and what we are both going through so hopefully things will calm down completely in the next month. I know she hasn't meant to do all the things she has done or the way she has made me feel but she is beginning to deal with things and take it all out on me or let her paranoid side get to her.

still not sure what to do about the Bike, whether i should take the full insurance either getting a new bike or getting the old bike back and fixing her up, the issue is that still might not be road worthy when i finished and then I'm stuck with a lump of pretty looking metal.. which is not so good. I most likely take the money and then decide whether i want a new bike as my history with bikes (Motor or cycle) is not a good one as they always seem to get stolen lol.

well thats it for today, i promised myself im going to try and keep up with this as it seems to help collect my thoughts.

hope all is well.

Iz the mighty

*Izzy pops back into existence*

I have been told by the great 9 foot slice of hell know as Moosipher to get myself back on here, so here I am. It has been 9 long months since I have last entered something on this account, I had started another account but then thought that most people are still connected to this one... so what is there to tell about me that has happened in the last 9 months.

First of all I finished and passed my Foundation Degree in Youth and Community work, this meaning I am a Qualified Professional (or so they tell me). I graduated last month and now have a piece of paper that says imp safe to let out in public amongst the youth of today, this being a scary thought for me and them.

I broke up with my long term girlfriend in early august, this was due to me being a rather large asshole about a few things I cant go into but to say the least we have worked through it and are now good and close friends, she has been a very important part of my life and im a shamed to say that I haven’t shown her that very well in the past few months.. I am trying for a better future.

I have met and currently seeing a wonderful person, we have only been together a month but we have know each other since March, she is fun, hectic, mad and very different from me in a Varity of ways but this add to the appeal of her. The relationship was a little rocky at first but I believe it is built on a strong foundation.

I have suffered from mild depression and push a lot of friends away from me during these past few months, this was due to me not dealing with some real bad issues that started at the beginning of the year and would like to apologies to many of my close friends for this. In truth I hurt a lot of people because I was acting selfish and self indulged for a long period of this year, im grateful to say that I have a great number of friends and girlfriend that have pulled me through this.

I have recently started a new job working at a Primary school in Rose hill, Oxford. It has been great as I have been getting more and more depressed about not having a job. This job dropped into my lap and seems it was made for me. I am working as a learning support/teaching assistant along side a young boy who has learning needs, its scary to say that this kid reminds me of me when I was his age but I see this as a useful to tool to have, being able to remember what it was I found difficult about the situation. I fluffed up a few times but it’s only my second week and I guess im still getting my feet wet.

Not much else to tell really, just the fact that I hope t is adding more to this in the future.

Take care all and hope you are well.

Izzy Signing off....

My laptop crashed on my and now doesnt even get passed the start up screen, lost most of my work including my placement diaries :(, not having a good day. I startedmy essay and got the first part done yesterday, a little done this more, saved it and backed it up but i have lost all the work i did to it after that.... Not happy, will have to send it off and hope they can fix it. OOhhhhhh well, back to life.

Izz signing off....

Well i have been real ill for entire week and some how im still on top of college and placement, also after having to rest for the whole week and not in much of a mood to do any work i feel ten times better about my course as last week i was close to calling quits. i still dont have much motivation towards my Photography but im hoping thats just a short term thing as i have put so much into it over the past three years, im now having to think about what i want after the course finishes and im still not sure, i have decided that im going to travel for a short while then find a job and live in oxford till i have more experience before working abroad like i plan in the future. I will hopefully have it all shorted out in my head sometime soon. The rest of my life is going well, just feel that the last leg of this course is dragging a bit but then i dont have long to go :).

Take care and hope all are well.

Iz signing off...

I have done it again, i have promised myself and so many others that i would update on a regular basis, then left it for three weeks... god im so crap at this :). Not been having a great time with things, not because things are going bad but because its getting real close to the end of my course and im afraid im going to mess it all up. I also feel like i have lost my focus and direction for the course, i guess everything that happened last year with my dad going into hospital has taken a lot out of me. My g/f and close friends have been stars, keeping me going and laughing when the world feels like its about to go from under my feet, i feel hidden away and isolated from everything and the news is real depressing at the moment with everyone at each others necks. I feel like i need to get away from everything just for a short while and feel trapped because i cant untill the end of my course. Well no fear because i may be feeling low but i promised myself that i was going to get though this and i will, thanks to all those who have helped me keep my head above water, im know im not the only one on my course feel like this and i know we will all pull though.

Take care all.

Izz signing off...

I was back in the Gloc last night and am glad to say that its far better now than it has been for a few years now :D, spoke to an old friend about the universe and everything, well mainly about space since he works for NASA. The deadlines for my placement and college work are slowly creeping up and are waiting to bash me over the head if i dont deal with them, so freaky out a little but still feel that i can get it all done, it still freaks me out to think that im only a short distance before im fully trained. Still sorting out things for the band as we still dont have a place to practice but i should hve somewhere in the next week :), so once that sorted we can get to writing again. Life is good and beginning to low down to a easier pace, hope all is well in the great wide world.

Izz signing off...

I've had a really great day today, made lots of contacts at my placement and feel im really getting the hang of the work, my supervisor seems really happy with me and we are getting on really well now :). Other news the should be meeting up for its first practice soon, once we find a practice studio somewhere, so we get back into writing music again. Been sleeping better over the past few days and down feel so low anymore, feel that these moments of low depression are passing and im now beginning to balance out. Starting to feel my creative side coming back, as i was worried that i had lost that side to me but it seems it was just taking a short break.

Life is good for now :).

Take care and safe journey to all.

Izz signing off...

Well greetings and Happy New Year to everyone and hope its all gone off to a good start :). The beginning of this year has been a bit all over the place for me and very up and down, had real sleeping problems for the first few weeks so been feeling real crappy and drained half the time but after this past week things are looking up :). Had a couple of interesting things happen with my life recently, the band we started last year that then split have decided to get back together, so im back into writting music again which was a nice surppise for the new year :).I have aslo been feeling very artistic again and am have been doing some more Photography so please check out my Deviantart website :D. My college cause was a bit shit this week when we started talking about somethings that made me and a few others in the class feel low but had talked with the lecturers about it and they seem to understand. Placemant is great and have been given more responsability with feels scary but great at the sametime :), i have to start the photography project i've been planning to in the next few weeks, which means lots of phone calls and planning but its all worth it. Had a great weekend as we went to the Gloc and for the first time in a long time it had a great Atmosphere, Thanks to Spindles and Adie DJing, had lots of good conversation and saw some old faces :).

Well take care everyone :).

Izzy signing off.

Well the Christmas season is now winding down and the new year is coming upon us, meaning false promises about giving things up for the new year hehe :), well maybe not as i have made a few new year resolutions that im going work at over the year. Had a good chrismas apart from the usual family issues and phone calls but thats just now the normal part, the best part was having gwenwyfahr over for Christmas Eve, as we just chilled out and watched Black Adder for most of the evening. On Chistmas eve i met musician playing in the city centre who i met about 2 years ago, he plays the Mandolin and is an amzing musician and has promised to keep in touch as i really enjoy his music and style :). Did nothing else really but watch Doctor Who, played on the Net, read Calvin and Hobbes: Homicidal psycho jungle cat and slept, yes another exciting Christmas but its been great having time off to think and enjoy friends and families company.

Well seasonal greetings to you all and hope to see you all iun the new year.

Izzy signing off.....

well time is closing in and this year is finally coming to a close, not much to report for this past week. Placement still going well and was asked to produce a poster for a local art group which was great. Have done most of my chrismas shopping, so no rushing around on chrismas eve to find that last pressie, oh well but get some sleep before the last few days of work before chrismas day.

Take care all

Izzy signing off